Severus Snape
by crystalline'maia
Summary: A tribute to the man who loved Lily Evans, the girl whom he admired during his childhood, the girl whom he fancied on his adolescence, and the woman whom he loved on his adulthood. SevLily


**Severus Snape**

In the midst of a purely white, blank space stood a sallow-faced man, draped in billowing black robes. His hair was filthy and greasy, as if it wasn't washed for a very long time. His nose was crooked, his skin pale, and his eyes dark.

He turned around, expectant to see something. But the next thing he knew, he was a boy again. An innocent, nine year old boy . . .

* * *

Severus Snape was a nine year old, clad in a coat that was three times larger than his body, a filthy shirt that was worthy enough to become rags, and a pair of shorts which were pants before. He was hiding behind a tall oak tree, watching two young girls about his age playing with the playground swings with mild interest.

The younger one had eyes of vivid green and red hair that shone in the sunlight. The older one, however, was nowhere near the appearance of her sister. She had black hair and a pair of pale eyes, skinny and a face that was rather horse-like.

The red haired girl was standing on the swing, giggling satisfyingly as it flew backward and forward. Severus clutched his coat unconsciously. He stood there, still behind the tree, and imagined what his life would be if he hadn't had a family that acted very much not like a family.

* * *

"You're a _witch," _said Severus to the red haired girl.

"A _witch?" _asked the girl with a tone of disgust.

---

"_Hogwarts? _I've never heard of a school called _Hogwarts_. The name's really strange though," said the girl.

She had been friends with Severus ever since that day when he finally showed himself from behind the oak tree. Since, Severus had told her all about the school called _Hogwarts _and that it was supposed to teach _special _kids like them _magic. _He had also told her about the wonderful world (which he said that _they _really belong to) in which there were people who could actually perform all sorts of spells.

Today was one of their usual meetings. They were supposed to meet every Saturday afternoon on the riverside and lie on the grassy slope, watching the river flow.

"Yeah, and there'll be letters telling us that we're accepted there," said Severus importantly.

The girl let out a sound of interest, and Severus flushed, but smiled as he avoided her green eyes.

* * *

"No – listen, I didn't mean –"

"- to call me Mudblood? But you call of anyone my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Severus and the red haired girl were now studying in Hogwarts, and everything that he had told her was actually real. They were taught _magic _and everything about it.

However, now they were standing in front of the portrait of a fat lady wearing a pink dress. It was the entrance the girl's dormitory. He and the girl had been arguing about the word he had called her. _Mudblood._

The girl shot her one more disgusted look, turned around and entered her dormitory. Severus was now left in front of her dormitory's entrance. Alone. Hopeless that he'll ever be forgiven.

He reached a hand to the portrait, weakened, and gave up.

* * *

Severus was now a grown man. He now worked for his school as a teacher. He had always stridden the halls and corridors with complete confidence. However, was it _confidence _that he was demonstrating?

He was now facing a huge mirror, etched on its sides were runes he could not read. It was the _Mirror of Erised_, a mirror that showed you what you really desire. He stretched a hand, touching the surface of the cold glass of the mirror.

There, on the mirror that was supposed to be showing his reflection, was a beautiful woman, with a long sheet of sleek red hair. Her eyes were closed peacefully, as if she was having a wonderful dream. She was clad in a cream dress, her arms slightly spread, and a faint smile on her lips.

Severus looked down. He knew that this was his deepest desire – the girl whom he admired on his childhood, fancied on his adolescence, and loved on his adulthood.

He leaned on the mirror's surface, as the woman reflected in it reached out for his hand too. However, their hands never met as it was parted by the mirror's cold glass.

As tears trekked down his pale cheeks, he realized that it was just a mere mirror, and that the woman was not alive _anymore_.

* * *

Severus looked down as he walked along with other cloaked figures. They were on their way to meet their master – the man who caused his beloved's death.

Their master stood facing the dark balcony, a thick long snake around his neck, and a smirk on his lipless mouth.

* * *

Severus was kneeling on grassy ground, on top of a hill with a single tree on a cloudy day. His robes were torn in different places, and the confidence he once wore around the corridors were lowered to nothing. He kneeled in front of the greatest sorcerer of the millennium, Albus Dumbledore.

"Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her – them – safe. Please."

"And what will you give me in return, Severus?" said Dumbledore calmly, eyes fixed on his kneeling figure.

"In – in return?" Severus gaped at Dumbledore, but after a long moment he said, "Anything."

* * *

Harry Potter found him lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. Blood was oozing violently from the two small holes on his neck. Severus lay there, saying nothing, but staring into those deep green eyes Harry owned.

"Look . . . at . . . me," he muttered, gazing through those green eyes for the last time in his living days, and a moment later, his own eyes were emptied of life.

***

She was leading him out of a compartment where two boys were bothering them.

---

She was instructing him in one of their potion-brewing lessons.

---

She was telling him the proper way of doing something.

---

She was there, a nine year old, gliding into the sky like an expert trapeze artist, smiling brightly into the clear blue sky.

* * *

In the midst of a purely white, blank space stood a sallow-faced man, draped in billowing black robes. His hair was filthy and greasy, as if it wasn't washed for a very long time. His nose was crooked, his skin pale, and his eyes dark.

"Sev," a feminine voice had said.

He turned around, expectant to see something. And there she was, smiling calmly at him with her arms behind her. She was wearing the exact dress he saw in the mirror, with the same red hair, and with the same deep green eyes.

He gaped at her calm face . . .

"Severus," she said.

Her eyes slowly filled with tears and then she said, "_Thank you sincerely, Severus."_

She extended her hand to him, and he looked down at it.

And he remembered the time, when he was a freshman at that magical school, when he was crying, and when he stopped, all because she held his hand for him.

* * *

'_One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.'_

_Harry James Potter, 36, Platform Nine and Three-Quarters_

Reviews are very much appreciated. Thank you very much and a Happy New Year to you all who are reading this on January 1, 2010!!! 'Coz I finished this ten minutes after the midnight of the last day of 2009, you know . . .

I know I lack some sentences or paragraphs or something, but please bear.

You might wanna watch this: youtube .com/watch?v=H_e0oL9J1Rw (without the space)


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